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SERIOUSLY, DON'T READ! Do you always follow instructions this well? LOL. Don't read unless you can handle a man with a strong multi-faceted personality. I'm a little bit rock star, faux psychologist, philosopher, comedian, all rolled up in one. Throw in a good helping of mischief, and blend well in a hot-tub.
*** Ladies, thanks for all the emails. If I don't respond today, don't be offended. I'll reply even if I don't think we'd hit it off. It's ed "manners". ***
I'm going to list what I don't want rather than what I do want. If you're bright enough to figure it out, email me. For the record, I don't drink or "party" with any alcohol or drugs so if that's your thing we probably won't hit it off.

- If you have no idea why you do what you do, and your therapist has to sort out why your life is such a mess, we won't jive. By now, you should know how to avoid repeating the same mistakes and bad choices.
- I expect someone as attractive as I am. However, if your bra size exceeds your IQ, we won't jive. Sorry, I'm not impressed by looks alone, if that's all you've got, we probably won't hit if off. Street smarts and a kind heart go a long way.
-No, I'm not looking for a one-night stand (although they do happen, a guy who says they don't is either lying or inept, which do you want?). No, I'm not looking for a new wife (although I suppose it could happen). There's happy middle-ground between those two extremes, whether casual or committed. And no, just because I'm attractive doesn't automatiy make me a player. If you're a hottie, does that automatiy make you a slut?
- If you're peddling your web-cam site, don't bother. Why would I web-cam with you when I can have the real thing? If you want bootie-pay, get a job at the Men's Club.
- I grew up around a good amount of women, I'll treat you with respect. If you can't do the same, we won't get along. I can be sensitive when necessary, but I'm not a punching bag. I'll roll up my sleeves and carry you when needed, but I won't repeatedly rescue you from self-created crises. Feels like having a drink. I'll surprise you with chocolate when you're PMS'ing, but if you go off on me for no reason I'll eat the chocolate myself.
- Age doesn't matter to me, emotional maturity does. If drama follows you around, contact a talent agency.
- Relationships are not fairy tales, I'm not prince charming, and you're not a princess. It takes work from two. If you don't get it, we won't jive. I can bring fantasy to life (can you?), but we have to re-visit reality occasionally. I can sweep you off your feet, but you'll have to knock my socks off. If you don't think you can get me barefoot, you probably can't.

- If you can't keep up with me on a dance floor, I won't be impressed. Being able to "find each other's rhythm" is important for quite a few things. (okay well truthfully I can't dance all that well ha)
- If you're a high-maintenance Barbie, we won't connect well. However, if you can go from tom-boy to decked-out hottie, I'll think you're quite sexy and I just might fall in love with you.
- I don't control nor manipulate, but rest assured I will influence you. (I'll lead you into some mischief and you'll like it.) If you are a control freak, we won't get along. Go find an insecure spineless wuss to lick your boots, there are plenty to choose from. If you thrive by playing manipulative games, guess what? I recognize them immediately and they don't work on me.

If you made it this far and are still reading that means you probably picked up my sense of humor ;) Shot me an email

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